"No, Really, How are you doing?"

We probably hear that question several times a day! So, I thought I would attempt to tell you all how we are doing!

We are OK! Life is really difficult!! The reality of life without Claire is settling in more and more each day and that is not getting easier! We miss her so much!! Really everyday is so hard and some days are more difficult than others!

Jeff and I are attending a Grief Share group and it is fantastic!!! It is a 13 week video series and support group for people who have had a recent death of a loved one! We highly recommend it!! (www.GriefShare.com) Our group has met 4 times now and we always come away feeling loved on, understood and ready for the next group!! Jeff and I work together on the weekly discussion questions and use that as our devotions. It has been great to work on this together!! I feel so blessed that Jeff and I openly and honestly talk about our thoughts and feelings!

Abbigayle is doing well! I read somewhere that it may take a while for "surviving" siblings to get back into the groove at school, but Abbigayle and Caroline both have jumped right back in and are doing great!! I think some of that has to do with our tight community! They both have fabulous teachers and staff who are loving on them when we are not with them ~ Thank You Greenlee and Harris!!! Abbigayle has her last football game this evening and she has really enjoyed cheering!! That has been a great experience for her and we are very thankful for the diversion!! Go Blue Devils!! Our church family continues to wrap their arms around us and Abbigayle enjoys being a part of the youth group!! Abbigayle really appreciates the comments on her blog entries and checks her e-mails everyday, so feel free to send her an e-mail to lift her spirits! She doesn't talk as much as the other girls, but, this past Sunday our devotion focused around emotions/feelings and she said her primary emotion is confusion! She also said when people ask "how are you doing?" that question just doesn't matter anymore! Abbie now has a room to herself and hibernates in there to maintain her privacy (remember being 12)! Abbigayle does much better when she has one on one time with Jeff and I or when we spend time together as a family, we are taking her away this weekend to work through the Passport 2 Purity curriculum and we have a surprise for Saturday night that she will love!! (shhh!! keep it a secret!!) She is really wanting to spend time with our extended family, also, and with the holidays quickly approaching I'm glad she will have several opportunities to be with them!! Abbigayle is a great girl and I am so humbled to be her mother, she has insights far beyond her years!

Sweet Caroline!! She seems to be doing great also! She loves school and has a new story to share everyday! She has been to the cemetery several times in the last couple of weeks and that has seemed to be very comforting to her! She talks about Claire a lot!! And regularly gets quiet and will just say "I'm missing her!" Caroline is particularly working hard at reading, bicycling and piano, she will often say "Claire's with me!" Caroline loves clogging and is so thankful to have Tommy as her partner!

And Sarah! Jeff and I do not know what we would do without Sarah, right now!! She has turned in to the "court jester" and tries to get a laugh out of us all, whenever she can!! Several times a day, Sarah will hug me and say, "I miss Clarie Bear!" How much she understands, I don't know, but I do know she is helping to keep the rest of us going!!

So, "Really, how are we doing?" I don't know! I know that I don't let a day go by that I don't hug and kiss my girls and husband as often as I can, I do know that I cherish every moment with my friends and family, I do know that my heart breaks continually as my desire is to have Claire back with us, but I also know that Jeremiah 29:11 is so true "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I know the rest of the world is continuing on their paths and for this season we are traveling along our own path and one day, maybe one day, we will have an indescribable joy in our hearts again, at least I believe that we will; "I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy." John 16:20-22

So keep us in your thoughts and prayers, that is truly sustaining us! Blessings!! Angela